


lend me your heart (i'll just let you fall)

by dogbuns



Category: To The Moon (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Role Reversal, but not really, the real enemy of this fic is childproof caps on painkiller bottles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogbuns/pseuds/dogbuns
Summary: Eva doesn't know what it'll take to make Neil smile again, but she's nothing if not determined.





	lend me your heart (i'll just let you fall)

**Author's Note:**

> im procrastinating dont expect too much  
> ([title](https://youtu.be/1OqbP8KDaEw))

“Grandfather?! Grandfather!!"

The mission had been going smoothly, up until this point. The doctors had traversed through at least half of the patient's memories swiftly, and Eva Rosalene thought they had an easy case on their hands for once.

"Don't go! _Grandfather!!_ "

Eva winced. Her job at Sigcorp had never been easy, and as much as she would love to be numb to the pain, seeing a death within the memories they traversed only rubbed salt in the wound. She watched as their patient shook her grandfather's arm, begging him to wake up, come back, _breathe_ , anything, but it was fruitless. Odd, coming across such a painful memory, seeing as the woman's final wish had nothing to do with her grandfather. Painful memories always find their way to stand out.

The doctor shook her head and trudged forward, ready to see if any memory links lay around the hospital bed. But before she could get far, the entire world skidded to a halt, the patient frozen still with her hand in mid-air. Eva paused.

"Neil, what gives?" She turned to question her partner, standing a good distance behind her, mouth pressed in a thin line. Eva's heart sank, immediately noticing Neil's unusually grim demeanor. His expression was as unreadable as usual, annoying glare of his spectacles getting caught in her eyes, but Neil's body language betrayed him. His fists were curled in his pockets, shoulders tense and jaw tight.

"... We didn't come here for a sob story," He waved his hand dismissively, refusing to unpause the memory. "Let's just get our job done quickly and leave."

His tone made Eva uncomfortable. Neil was practically skipping around through the mission earlier, eager to prove their "awesomeness" for their last case of the year. Their salary evaluation was coming up, and Neil was sure they'd had it in the bag. Right now it seemed all his previous energy was drained right out of him.

Eva looked between his shivering figure and the frozen memory. "I think the links were in that playback. Don't you think we need to watch a little further-"

"Everything we need is probably already here," he cut in. "Come on, I'm not letting her little monologue get between me and my Christmas bonus." Without another word, Neil began rifling through the flowers on the desk. Eva had no choice but to follow suit.

Neil was right; everything they'd needed to proceed was already scattered around the room. The uncomfortable silence that hung in the air was practically suffocating. It was in these times that she'd usually count on Neil to brighten the mood with a quick joke, and they could continue with their regular banter, and the painful reality of the task at hand could be kept a good distance away. But now it clung to her, with Neil wordlessly passing the links into the memento, completely devoid of any funny quip. She felt her stomach churn as they stepped into the next memory.

Much to Eva's relief, the patient's grandfather wasn't in the next skip. She turned back to her partner, hoping that everything would go back to normal, but Neil's jaw was still set, face ghastly pale, as if he couldn't shake the scene they'd just escaped from.

"Neil?" She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you..." The words died in her mouth as Neil only gave her a pressed look in return, brows furrowed tight, before he glanced away again. Her hand retracted to her pocket.

Eva had always wanted Neil to open up to her, but she'd never imagined it would turn out this way. They trudged onwards in eerie silence. The doctor didn't think she'd ever _miss_ Neil's awful banter, as eager as she is to shut it down every time. It was routine, something she could always at least fall back on, but now the entire mission seemed bleak and nauseating. Didn't think it was possible to miss the week when Neil came down with the flu and she had to work with stoic old Robert.

At least Rob wouldn't be giving her the cold shoulder right now. God, is this how Neil usually felt when she would rush to finish missions quickly? No, that couldn't be right. They were Dr. Rosalene and Dr. Watts, they might as well have been _paid_ to balance each other out, keep each other grounded. But this time, Neil wasn't speaking, wasn't focusing on much of anything, and in turn, neither was she. Their progress was agonizingly slow.

No matter how many times Eva'd prodded him to ask if he was alright, Neil would only nudge her away dismissively. Of course, Neil Watts was never a fan of pity, much less consolation, she already knew that much. Over the years, she'd learned to leave Neil alone and deal with things herself whenever he'd clam up like this.

But something in this silence only filled her with dread, and Eva found herself thinking less of the mission and more of how to get her friend back. She steeled herself and ran up to Neil's side.

"Our patient sure sucks at her job, huh?" Eva commented. The woman in question stumbled about her office in front of the doctors, dropping papers this way and that. "How much you bet she'll get sacked by the end of the day?"

Neil only raised an eyebrow at her. "She _did_ get sacked," he pointed out. "I replayed the memory."

Eva blinked. As Neil spoke, the patient's boss burst into the room, furious. The technician paused the scene before they'd had to witness the brutal lashing out.

"Oh…" Eva rubbed at the back of her neck. "Well, at least we're too, er, _awesome_ to be fired like her, right?"

"... Let's just find the memory links and go." Neil turned away again, expression grim.

"... Right." Damn it, how did Neil make this look so easy? It shouldn't have be so hard to be a moron. She huffed, twirling the little orbs between her fingers.

"Eva, I found the memento." Neil stood at the other side of the office, poking at a purse on a desk. A transparent orb formed around it, only partially broken without the links Eva found.

"I got it!" She quickly ran over to break the barrier. Remembering what Neil'd done in the past, she'd flung the orbs toward the memento, making dramatic poses every time. Neil and her would watch anime at his house sometimes when they were in middle school. The memories were all hazy, and Eva's movements were awkward, but she was sure she was doing it right.

Eva twirled the last link between her fingers, before raising it dramatically over her head and swinging it down on the memento with a yell.

" _Thor smash!_ "

The barrier shattered, and Eva put her hands on her hips, trying to savour whatever dignity she had left. But when she looked over to see if Neil's mood brightened, he'd only looked back at her with a bewildered look in his face, mouth agape.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, pressing his hand against her forehead. "You're not possessed right now, are you? Maybe an evil clone?" Despite his words, his tone was completely serious, laced with worry.

Eva gawked. She'd gone through all that, and Neil hadn't so much as snorted! She pushed his hand aside. "I'm fine," Eva crossed her arms, getting ready to jump. "C'mon, let's get going!"

"Thor…" Neil muttered to himself, following Eva into the next memory.

The doctor paced around the scene, waiting for Neil to materialize behind her. He looked around the room a bit before his eyes settled on Eva, cocking his head to the side.

"Alright, what'd you do."

"What!" Eva waved her arms. "What.. What makes you think I did anything?"

"You're still acting like… that." Neil gestured at her entire frame.

"Acting like _what?_ Totally normal, unlike _some_ grumpy pantsed-"

"- And you're holding a permanent marker."

Eva yelped, dropping the offending object to the floor. She watched Neil pinch his nose bridge. "Seriously, spill the beans. What're you up to?"

The doctor considered pulling up an excuse, but Neil just looked so… tired. She sighed, rubbing her thumbs together.

"I don't like seeing you like this, Neil." Eva glanced up at him, heart heavy. "Why can't you just let me do _something_ for you-"

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm fine!"

"You've practically been _sulking_ since we had to watch that grandfather bit. You can't tell me everything's _fine_."

Neil squirmed under her gaze, crossing his arms and looking away. "... So what if I'm not? It's not your job to fix people."

His words felt like a punch to the gut. "It… Kind of literally is? At Sigcorp?" Eva gave a nervous laugh, a last ditch effort.

Neil frowned. "Sure. And you spend it _drawing_ _dicks_ on our patient's faces."

"Well, about that-" Eva tried to argue, but when she looked back, Neil was gone. She blinked for a second before realizing Neil had disconnected himself from the machine, and went to follow suit.

"Is everything alright?" The family doctor asked when Eva pulled her helmet off. "Your partner ran off in a hurry."

"Yeah, yeah," Eva waved her hand dismissively. "We just got stuck in a rut. Needed to take a little break. Did you see where Dr. Watts went?"

"Towards the bathroom, I believe."

"Thank you." Eva ran down the hall. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, and she could hear someone breathing heavily inside.

"Neil..?" She slowly knocked on the door, silently asking for permission. When she got no response, Eva quietly let herself in.

Her partner was kneeling on the floor, fumbling with a container in one hand and grasping at his chest with the other. His face was scrunched up in pain. Eva felt her heart drop.

She tried to take the pill bottle from Neil's hands, but he pulled it away from her, eyes blown wide, unable to speak. It seemed he didn't notice her enter.

Eva kept her palm outstretched. "I just want to open it for you," she said. "It's okay. I won't ask."

After a pause, Neil finally dropped the bottle in her hands. She wrenched the cap open and slid two pills into his trembling palm, handing him a cup of water from the sink. Neil could only nod in thanks, breath still shaky.

Eva figured he wouldn't let her take his hand, as much as she wanted to, so she settled for rubbing circles into Neil's back as he pulled himself together. He didn't push her away, but didn't acknowledge her, either, silently waiting for the dosage to take effect.

It took a few moments, but Neil finally unfolded himself, wiping sweat from his forehead. Eva let out her breath as she watched the pain fade from his expression, hand finally releasing his chest.

"Thank you," he said, voice weak. He couldn't look her in the eyes. The silence grew uncomfortable again, but Eva couldn't bring herself to say anything, settling for staring down at her feet.

Eventually it was Neil who spoke up. "I know you want to say something, so get out with it already."

Eva considered her next words carefully. "You… don't want my pity. I get that." She tried to meet his gaze, but he was still looking away. "But I can't just leave you like this." She laid her hand on the ground next to his. "You need help, and... I'm here, if you'll let me be. Okay?"

There was a pause, and Eva was afraid she'd said the wrong thing. Neil only closed his eyes with a sigh, turning the pill bottle around in his hands. She kept her promise and didn't pry. Even if he didn't have those reflective glasses on, Eva was sure she wouldn't be able to guess what he was thinking then.

The doctor didn't expect Neil to take up her offer so soon, and jumped a little when she felt his fingers curl around hers. "Okay," he finally said. "I do kind of need help getting up right now, so.."

Despite herself, Eva laughed, taking his other hand and pulling him up. Her heart fluttered when he finally gave a small smile to her, the first she'd seen since the entire mess started.

"Come on," he nudged her towards the door. "We still have to take care of your little vandalism stunt."

"Oh god, don't remind me…" Eva groaned. "Please tell me we can edit those out from the records later."

"I don't know, Evs, it's _really_ tempting to show off your phallic masterpiece to the rest of the office."

Even through the jabs, Eva couldn't help but return a little smile as they made their way back down the hall, slipping back into their old familiar routine. She wasn't sure if Neil was actually alright now, or if he was just closing himself off again in his usual way. But he held onto her hand tight like a lifeline, even back in the traversal machine.

Eva made sure not to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> neil takes them on a marvel marathon later so she never says thor smash again
> 
> (for fic purposes neil has a heart condition here that acts up under stress, whether or not this theory is plausible doesnt matter right now djdhdhj)


End file.
